Weeds

I keep hearing everybody say that they really love this show, Weeds. It’s the best thing ever, it’s so funny, lalala. I’ve heard it from people who have the same tastes as me and people who I usually don’t agree with. So I figured that I had to watch it at some point.

I notice on Netflix that I can stream the first season right to my Xbox, so I figure that now’s as good at time as any to see what all the hype is about.

For those that don’t know, Weeds is about a suburban housewife who decides to sell pot after her husband dies and leaves her without anything but a giant house, two kids, a maid and a fancy SUV.

I’m a little lost on the “Left her nothing” part, because they don’t explain that very well from what I’ve seen, unless I was just spacing out when they said it – which is possible. They were well off enough to have expensive things, so why doesn’t he have some kind of life insurance? Why doesn’t she remain well off when he dies?

In any case, she sells the pot and she’s pretty good at it, but she’s pretty ignorant in the ways of the real world and the world of drug dealing. So the show follows her mishaps and everything that goes on in her life. Her two sons have some issues, her youngest acts out in pretty amusing ways, the oldest is a pretty typical 16 year old in my opinion.

Then her brother moves in, and he’s just another bunch of trouble.

The show has a lot of potential. I can see where the concept was interesting. I can see where they were trying to go with it. I can see the big plans that were brewing in their heads when they came up with everything and started writing out scripts.

But it’s missing something. I don’t know what it is, but it’s certainly not there. It sort of feels like it all falls just short of the potential. It builds up and it almost gets there, but then it gives up trying and settles for what it is.

It’s got some pretty amusing parts. Some really funny lines. It’s not a horrible show, by any means. It’s just, for me, a little bit dull. I don’t mind watching it, and I wouldn’t mind watching it again with somebody else, but I have no need to own it, and I don’t find myself getting excited about the next episode like I do other shows. It’s more like “Oh, there’s another one. Okay.”

I’m going to watch the second season because I just found it on Netflix to stream, I’m going to watch to see if it gets any better, any more interesting. Give it a second chance. But that’s all it’s getting. If the second season hits me like the first season has, then I’m going to be forced to give up trying.

Lakeview Terrace

Samuel L. Jackson is a complete badass on his worst day. If he were sick in bed with Mono and Swine Flu, he’d still be more of a badass than the entire rest of the planet combined. He could out badass anybody at any time.

To put such a colossal badass in the role of a badguy? It makes one hell of a fucking badguy. Scary as shit. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to cross him. Ever. Goddamn. I would either follow the guy’s rules, or move to the complete opposite side of the world as soon as possible.

Then. Then, my friends, you give the motherfucker a badge and power. He didn’t really need it, because his personal authority exceeds many things that a mere mortal could dream of pulling off, but some crazy sonofabitch decided to make this guy capable of legally carrying a firearm. Again, not that he needs it. He doesn’t even need the handcuffs. His very presence can paralyze a person in their tracks. See? No handcuffs required. No gun required because he’ll just give you a heart attack in one glance.

Now that I’ve thoroughly discussed His Royal Awesomeness, I can get to the actual story.

I’d thought it was going to be more than a little slow at the start. I was wrong. I thought it was going to be very difficult to make a story revolving around suburbanites dramatic or dark. I was wrong. I thought it was going to be a little dull. I was wrong. I also thought I probably wouldn’t like it, despite SLJ. Wrong again.

Boy am I happy to be wrong.

Heavy Metal

Sometimes you can’t go back, and sometimes, even if you can, you shouldn’t. You should just hold in your memory the way things were way back when. There should be no attempt to reclaim youth, or fond memories.

Becomes sometimes those memories fall short.

If I ever needed a clear example of that, I could find it easily in Heavy Metal. Some things can stand the test of time, others make you wonder what the hell you were thinking. Heavy Metal kind of makes me sad to have watched it again. When I was younger, I remember I thought this was one of the best things I’d ever seen. I even remember the magazine of the same name.

I have to believe, now that I’m significantly older than the last time I saw this, that the entire purpose to the movie – and magazine – was the boobs. Perhaps the violence, too. Back then, this must have been one of the goriest things ever. Outside of those two things? I suppose the art is okay, despite some of the characters being ridiculously misproportioned. Funny enough, it’s not just the women. At the start there’s this guy running around with a torso twice as big as the rest of his body.

The last chick in the whole story, the so-called badass? She seems to be less of a badass and more of the “ideal woman”. She’s strong. She’s got HUGE breasts. Long flowing hair. She got make-up tips from The Misfits (oh, not the real life band, the all girl band from Jem). She’s dangerous. Also? She never says a single word! That’s right boys, everything you’ve ever wanted in a girl. Can kick your ass, but can’t tell anybody about it. For some unknown reason.

Really, should have left this one in the past. Where it belongs. So destroyed what was once a nice childhood memory. Take my advice, and leave it the hell alone.

Also – extra slow motion in cartoons is ridiculous. It just leaves things feeling sluggish.

The Tudors – Seasons 1 + 2

There’s one very large issue with watching a historically based show. Even if the story doesn’t follow the texts perfectly, even if some things are added or removed, it’s all pretty much pre-determined. No matter who you might want to see prevail, no matter who you might come to like a whole lot, or hate more than you thought you would, there’s only one end the trail can come to in the end.

Having said that – I very much enjoyed watching King Henry VIII prance around in the body of Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the most dramatic fashion possible.

There are a couple story lines within the main spectacle that I wish they had continued to follow. Such as the choir boy and the ghost girl. That was getting really really interesting when they abandoned it. Actually, that kid sort of vanished completely, come to think of it.

Besides the pretty cast, the main thing that attracted me to this show is the gorgeous costumes. I would more than gladly run around in dresses like they put on the women in the show – all the women, and thinks it’s incredibly unfair that I’d get laughed at and/or placed in a loony bin if I did so now.

The chick that they got to play Anne Boleyn did her job very well, and pulled off the crazy and jealous very well. I definitely believed that she went out of her effing gourd there at the end. Bat shit. That cackle she perfected is something to be reckoned with. And the nutball look she can produce in her eyes, that’s not easy to do.

It’s funny how you start to recall what you learned in history over 10 years ago when you’re watching a television show about it.

I’m also now considering watching The Other Boleyn Girl just to see how it compares. It already has the distinct disadvantage of not being able to run out it’s story through 20 hours. But perhaps that means that it held itself to a higher standard? It’s also difficult to imagine them being able to find actors that can hold a candle to the ones in this show.

I can’t believe that I watched the entire 20 hours in two and a half days. It went by so quickly. And in my watching, I’ve decided that I would like thousands of people ready to shit their pants at my say so.

Cat’s Eye – Request

Not one portion of this movie’s description rang a bell for me, so you can imagine how dumbfounded I was when I started remembering every single part of it within the first five minutes. I don’t know if I saw it on television, or if it was a rental. I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen it in the last 15 years, but I couldn’t have been too small, because it came out in 1985. So I have no idea when I actually saw it the first time.

It’s not the best thing in the world, but it’s certainly better than Sleepwalkers.

I’m so confused.

Seven Pounds

Damn.

Have you ever watched a movie and it stirred something in you, moved you so completely that your brain couldn’t figure out a way to process it? Actually, I should say process it correctly, because there are things you’re thinking, but they just don’t seem to be the right things. You’re left speechless and unable to describe what it is you’ve just seen.

Will Smith is – hands down – one of the best actors in the world today. He’s very near the top of my five favorites. And he deserves every bit of praise and adulation that he gets. He earns it.

Time and time again, I come away from his movies awed by him.

This movie did it again.

I have many favorites about this film, but the thing that sticks out the most to me is that they didn’t feel the need to spoon feed you any of it. There’s no point where Will Smith’s character sits down with somebody and lays out his story from start to finish. He doesn’t ever spell out why he feels the way he does, he doesn’t need to or want to explain himself to anybody. That’s not what it’s all about. In fact, prodding to discover his past and intentions are met with a casual, if not tight faced, deflection.

I really adored this movie. Very much.

The Mangler – Request

A lot of Stephen King stories that get translated into movies end up being extraordinarily bad. I’m not exactly sure why, considering the stories themselves are quite good. I think it might have to do with the fact that he doesn’t really have anything to do with the movies. If I were him, I’d have some kind of clause in all sales of rights that lets me have final say in what happens, how things look, and the story as a whole.

This one turns out to be slightly better, but not by much. It definitely isn’t a quality flick. Bad acting, bad attempt at extending the story to movie length. Addition of a freezer haunted by a tornado is completely unfathomable. Also – lame.

As the move progressed, it did nothing but get steadily sillier. It’s very unfortunate, the story in it’s original form is good and creepy, very suspenseful. The idea of a machine gaining sentience and deciding it really likes blood has the potential to be a very intense idea. There isn’t one part of the movie that has the feel of the book. Trying to “make sense” of things by talking about ghosts and demons just came off as pathetic. And really, now that I think about it, there’s not a whole lot of the original story in the movie at all.