The Boy In The Striped Pajamas

It’s not the fastest paced movie I’ve ever watched, but it’s not as long as Schindler’s List.

Very powerful movie. Very moving movie. But oh my god depressing as well. OMGDEPRESSING.

Not that I really expected it to be otherwise. Even the most lighthearted of the Nazis VS Jews movies end up being really fucking depressing by the end of it. And this one didn’t even start out particularly fun.

So I knew what I was going into, but you still just can’t be ready for some things. Some things still kick you while you’re down. This movie kicks you in the face while you’re down. Kind of laughs at you while you squirm in pain and then kicks you again.

It’s a good movie. A good one to watch. I don’t know if I’d own it. If I did, it’d go into the pile of things that I own that I can only watch once every couple of months because they’re so horribly depressing. But I can’t say honestly right now if I would go seeking this one out. I don’t know if it has any re-watch-ability. It might be a one shot flick.

Even Schindler’s List gets watched at least once a year.

World’s Greatest Dad

I hadn’t heard of this one when it popped up on Netflix. But it has Robin Williams in it, and I’m a pretty huge fan of him. So I figured I’d give it a try. The premise seemed pretty interesting. At the very least, I figured, I would be able to say that I saw it.

Gotta tell you, it’s one of the more fucked up movies I’ve seen in a while. Robin Williams plays a guy who is a failed writer, a father and a teacher named Lance. His son’s name is Kyle. Kyle isn’t the best person in the world. In fact, he’s a giant douche.

Kyle doesn’t like music, cause it’s for fags. He doesn’t like movies, because it’s for art fags. He really only likes porn. The more raunchy porn, at that. It’s all he really talks about. He’s a dick to his only friend, Andrew. The only reason I can think that Andrew even keeps hanging around is that he’s got no dad, his mom is a drunk, and most importantly, because he’s got no other friends.

Well, Kyle dies. In a very embarrassing way. His dad makes it look like a suicide, and writes a note for his son. He does this because he doesn’t want his son to be seen in that way. I can understand. It’s horrifying. No matter how much of a cock your kid is, you don’t want him to be found holding his cock when the cops come.

This is sort of where things go nutty. The note gets out, and the entire school reacts positively to it. Suddenly Kyle has hundreds of people who love him. People who detested him when he was alive. Lance uses this to his own ends. Writing a book in his son’s name and using it to break himself into the profession he’s been trying to get into his entire life.

The ending was more than a little easy to see. I sort of wish that because of that they would have gone somewhere entirely different with it. But I think that it’s ultimately the right ending.

I liked it. I think it had to grow on me, but when it was over, I found that I liked it.

Oh, and surprise! Bobcat Goldthwait wrote it.
No shit.

Fido

Okay, so Fido is the most deranged episode of Lassie ever. Complete with a kid named Timmy and abject life lessons for us all.

Of course, I’m pretty sure that in Lassie, Timmy’s mom never fell for the dog. Which is not really the only glaring difference between Fido and Lassie, but it’s certainly pretty significant.

It really astounds me how close to Lassie this movie is. I’m sure it couldn’t be a complete accident. Maybe it started out unintentional, but it sure had intention by the end.

I also enjoyed the subtle shift in the mom that takes place for the entire length of the movie. Going from perfect little wife concerned with what’s normal and what she should do for her husband to strong, independent woman. The dad is pretty spectacular, too, though. With his ignoring of feelings.

“You have to get over that.”
“Get over what?”
“Feelings. Feeling’s not… important.”

Even as an avid zombie story lover, it’s hard to know when things are going to turn out well and when they’re going to go horribly wrong. It’s kind of an at-your-own-risk genre. You go into things not knowing if you’re going to enjoy it, but maybe that’s part of the allure.

All in all, Fido did a very good job of keeping me amused and entertained. Also – impressed. There were some fairly big names involved in the film, and everybody was well suited to their parts.

So far I’ve got to say that the zombie comedies really live up to their potential. I can’t think of one that I’ve been disappointed with.
That’s a notable record, since the zombie genre as a whole has some real doozies. Movies that are only good for their campiness, things that must be watched with friends to retain any value in a collection.

I think my favorite part of the whole movie is the smoking. We learn that zombies don’t have to eat or drink normal foods, but they can. We also learn that Fido was a smoker in life, and that his craving has carried over into his un-life.
It’s nothing huge, just a little thing that amuses me a great deal.

Deadgirl – Request(ish)

With friends like J.T., who needs prison cellmates?

It’s one thing to be a juvenile delinquent and know your friend is slightly more of a waste than you are, and another entirely to realize your best friend is willing and able to abuse a helpless girl both physically and sexually.

And entirely different thing altogether when that girl is possibly not as alive as she appears to be.

Other than some fairly bad editing and the use of some incredibly Donnie-Darko-esque music, I actually enjoyed watching this movie. Yeah, you are detecting a bit of surprise there. I really didn’t expect to enjoy it at all. A friend said she was pretty disturbed by it, and I like disturbed, so I went for it. Low expectations for everything, guessing that it wouldn’t strike my fancy too much. So yes, I’m a bit taken aback that I actually liked it. The acting was pulled off pretty well, considering that the main players in the flick aren’t real heavy hitters. The slightly slow story isn’t really noticeable because you really want to know what’s going to happen next (she says while mentioning it).

It’s like the most fucked up fairy tale in the entire history of fairy tales. I’m even including all the original ones here. The Grimm’s. The folklore. All of it.

As much as you think you can anticipate the ending, you really can’t. It comes a little bit out of left feild. Then it goes ahead and runs around behind you for a while before popping up again and shouting “BOO!”

The whole movie is pretty weird, but the ending is sort of extra weird. You’re a little disgusted and a little bit horrified, but it’s also sort of sweet. In a really disturbing kind of way.

The prince and hero eventually gets his princess… sort of.

“You’ll enjoy being dead. Deadgirl does.”

The Hebrew Hammer

Just in time for Christmas (Wow, talk about a backlog), I thought this would be a good one to watch. Okay, so it really had nothing to do with the holiday season at all, and everything to do with the description of the movie itself. The fact that everything was so wrong, just felt so very right. So many elements of wrongness. All come together in a celebration of joy and hilarity.

The three words that completely sum up my view of this movie? See it now. Even as I was watching it, I was texting people and telling them that they, too, should be watching it. Because it was glorious from the get go.

Adam Goldberg has been a favorite of mine for a long time. One of those sorts of actors that you don’t really think about much until you see them on screen, and there’s a silent “OH! YEAY!” that swells in your mind. He unfortunately doesn’t get much in the way of lead roles, which is a damn shame, but he always shines in whatever he does. Imagine my joy in seeing him here.

The casting is great, filled with random people showing up in really random parts and just adding to the glory of this movie. The story is absurd – and great. You’ve got this Jewish Superhero Detective (Certified Circumcised Dick), who has to save Hanukkah from Santa’s evil son (who has killed Santa in a brutal reindeer slaying). The whole thing is fucking hilarious.

One of my passionate joys in life is names. I get a kick out of names in movies, if they’re references to something else, if they’re just wonderfully absurd. And this movie is filled with many fantastic names. Not just people names either. Places, things. All of it makes me giddy. I don’t know why.

Mordechai Jefferson Carver
The Jewish Justice League
Esther Bloomenbergansteinenthal
Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahiem

Glorious. Just glorious.

“My mother is my pimp!”

Upcoming Reviews

I have a backlog of reviews to do, and if I follow my current habit, one of the backlog will get typed up and then I’ll watch three new movies.

So here’s what you have to look forward to:

The Hebrew Hammer
Deadgirl
Fido
Sick
The Forbidden Kingdom
The Goods

Other movies I’ve watched that could get reviews possibly (encouragement may ensure writing):

The Princess Diaries
Sex and Death 101
Shrooms
It’s A Boy Girl Thing
Good Dick
House (Not the television show. NOT THE TELEVISION SHOW)
The Specials

Race To Witch Mountain

Escape To Witch Mountain and Return From Witch Mountain were both movies that I watched when I was a kid. So, naturally, when Race To Witch Mountain came out, I was curious. Things happened, time moved on, it left theaters. I sort of forgot about it entirely until I was searching through the new movies on Netflix and discovered it available for streaming.

I thought “Hey. Why not. I have time, it’s free, I am curious anyway…” and thus in the end, a review.

For a PG movie, this film is EXTREMELY action packed and entertaining. I didn’t know you could have such awesome car chase scenes in a movie like this. It just never even occurred to me.

Dwayne Johnson (also known as The Rock) has really come into his own in this movie making thing. I think I’ve purposefully watched only one other movie that had him in it in a starring role. I can admit to be a little bit biased against the professional wrestler thing. But, in fairness, it seems to really help him in the stunt department. He already knows how to take a hit and a fall, and doesn’t need to be trained to be that huge.

On the acting front, he’s no hack either. While some of his lines were a little bit easy to call, he delivered them well, and I still got a good laugh out of them. Alright, I can admit when I’m wrong about somebody. Okay? Get off my back.

Other nice surprises of the film – Cheech Marin randomly popping up as a mechanic, and Chris Marquette as an agent desperately in need of a gun. My radar is up for his face because of Fanboys.

The film itself, aside from being very exciting, was well written. Well acted, well filmed. All around very enjoyable.

I did, admittedly, have to look it up to see if it was supposed to be a continuation of the series, or a remake. They like to call it a re-imagining. I can see it. All of it updated for modern times. Better gadgets, modern lingo. And come on, you know I was a freak over the Stormtroopers popping up all over the place.

Though, I suppose I will keep it in my secret wishes that Seth and Sara are the children of Tia or Tony. It kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? The previous aliens have done the biological studies – which may have taken a while. They have their secret hideout. The government overruns Witch Mountain and turns it into a secret facility. It’s been 30 years, I don’t see why not.

I have to say, in the end, I would definitely watch this again. Actually, I wouldn’t mind owning this one at all. I think it could be a good addition to the collection, in all honesty.

The only thing that could have possibly made this any better is if David Duchovny made a cameo at the UFO Convention.