Death Troopers

Star Wars + Zombies = Happiest girl EVAR

Seriously. This was really risky to go into. It’s not just taking one genre I love, but two of them, and then it’s promising to mesh them together. The idea of it is, of course, joyful and exciting. But would the reality of it match up with my hopes? Would I try to like this book just because it’s a Star Wars Zombie book, or would I be able to allow real opinions come in? Could I let myself be honest?

This book is quite honestly a big deal to me.

Happily, I did actually enjoy it. Not just for the sake of what it was. The writing was good. The story moved fluidly, and quickly. The characters were the types that you gained interest in, wanted to see what would happen to them.

I did enjoy it.

Now that I’ve said that, I just have to say to everybody out there who might have a zombie fear, you have a new thing to terrify you in your dark nights. I’m not even going to reveal anything about the zombies themselves, or how they become that, because that’s a terror all of it’s own.

No. All I’m going to say is: Zombie Wookiees.

Those two words together make me want to cackle. I mean, you’ve got this massive creature with claws and fangs, intelligence, incredible strength, and then they become of the undead. UNDEAD, FLESH EATING, WOOKIEES.

I don’t think my joy on this is going to fade any time soon.

Just think about all the things that a zombie Wookiee could do. They wouldn’t really need a whole group in order to get past barriers, they could push through on their own. Rip doors off hinges. Climb shit. Break in, pretty much however they wanted. And with their heightened sense of smell, just imagine how much easier they could track down their prey. You could try to hide all you wanted, and they’d still sniff you out. And fighting one? Fuck that. If you got anywhere near within their reach, you’re gone. Absolutely gone.

I LOVE ZOMBIE WOOKIEES.

I need a shirt.

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Brutal Legend

Been a while since I wrote about a game, isn’t it? It’s also been a while since I last had the attention span to do so. I was struggling with the two newest games I have – Overlord 2 and The Godfather 2, and I didn’t know why. Then it dawned on me one day. I needed something that didn’t take a lot of strategy, something I could get lost in for hours without realizing it, and something that would be incredibly fun to play.

Not that either of those games is boring. But there’s a certain amount of thinking that you’ve got to do in both of them in order to advance the game. All I wanted was a game that I could fart around on if I wanted to, and progress the game through when I wanted to, all without having to use too much of my brain.

Somebody suggested to me that I try Brutal Legend, and I have to say that it’s exactly what I was looking for. There are some moments when you have to think about what you’ve got to do, but it’s not the bulk of the game. Plus I can ride around in the car or on animals and just… do that. Or look for the artifacts. All while listening to heavy metal.

Oh, and Jack Black.

The art is beautiful, and the colors are vivid. I love looking at this game. I also love how some people’s hands are way too big for their bodies.

I think I’m about 40% through at this point, so I can’t talk too much about the rest of the game, but so far what I’ve seen, I really like. And on my first night playing, I played for 6 hours. It’s exactly what I needed.

Black Snake Moan – Request

I suppose this is another one I was sort of mislead on. I couldn’t tell you if it was due to commercials or other people, but I had sort of an entirely different idea of what was going to go on.

Not that this movie was bad, in any way.

In fact, it was incredibly fantastic. I’ve already stated previously how I feel about Samuel L Jackson, but I sort of feel like I need to say it again. The man is a fucking badass. How does he manage to be so awesome ALL THE TIME? No other human being on the planet could possibly withstand the amount of awesome he holds on a constant basis. They would explode.

And I have to say when they did the scenes with him singing, I about had a heart attack. I think I stopped breathing. I was not expecting that at all, and it sort of hits you in the face like a sledge hammer. (hello Peter Gabriel song suddenly going through my head) I could rewatch the storm scene like fifty times without getting sick of it.

It’s a little bit of a brain mess watching Penelope and then Black Snake Moan. But it certainly does a good job of showing what a varied and accomplished actress Christina Ricci is.

Not that I need to say it with such a rave review, but I really really loved this movie. A lot. I need to own this movie, soon.

Losing A Limb In The Star Wars Universe

Anakin Skywalker loses his hand. Luke Skywalker loses his hand. Tomcat loses his hand.

I’ve just finished Darth Bane: Rule Of Two, and it occurred to me that if you’re living in the Star Wars Universe, it doesn’t entirely matter what happens to you, as long as you’ve got a brain to hook up, they can make you a full new body. They practically do for Vader.

Kind of makes you wonder why they’re not a little more lackluster in their fighting. I mean, I get it, having your hand cut off has to hurt like a bitch, but it’s not like you’ve totally lost all use of it, is it? They’ll just take you to a Bacta tank, heal you up, and slap you with a new one. And the new one will be better. I bet you could fix up a new hand with all kinds of cool shit.

There’s a point where Luke uses his new hand to short out some wiring. I think his new hand might also have the ability to tap into networks. Possibly do stunts on show ponies.

What I’m trying to get at here is that while you might get freaked out every once in a while when you wake up and there’s this big metal THING hanging off your arm, eventually you’re going to get used to it. You could even have different attachments, ala Captain Hook.

Going down to the root of things, what is it with George Lucas and the missing hand? Is there something behind it that he’s not telling us? Is it his worst fear? Is it a secret kink? Or am I looking too deep and he just does it because robot hands are really fucking cool?

I know there’s a Vader-themed issue of … Rolling Stone… I think it is… out there somewhere. I wonder if that talks about the hands. Don’t ask me why I don’t already have it. I couldn’t tell you.