The Expendables

If you like action, and I really mean that you deeply and sincerely like action, I really recommend this movie. There is so much action within this one movie that I dare say that it is the actionyist action movie that ever actioned or movied.

There are so many big name action heroes piled on top of one another in this film that I’m surprised that the cameras filming this thing didn’t explode from their sheer proximity. There are some in there that they didn’t even tell you in the previews were going to be there! They were just sort of surprise action heroes popping up left and right.

I wasn’t sure if Stallone was going to be able to catch my eye with his directing, but why did I doubt? Is he not one of the top tier guys that one wants to see when one goes to see an action movie? Doesn’t he know his shit when it comes to this genre? Of course, and absolutely. Really, he’s the perfect guy to stand behind the camera and tell people what they should be doing, when they should be bleeding, and if their surroundings are exploding.

I had a really great time watching this movie. Absolutely terrific. The plot was a little thin, but then we are speaking of action movies, are we not? And plot is not the reason one chooses to watch this sort of movie. It just isn’t. We watch because we like to see dudes getting the shit beat out of them, because we enjoy ridiculously huge explosions, and well, plot is just not so important here as it is in other types of film. Sure, you have to have some goal, something to get the stars from Point A to Point B, but it doesn’t have to be giant. Or really terrific storytelling for that matter. Not to say that there can’t be, it’s just not a requirement.

Personally, I was pleased. And I was glad to see that there was no Chuck Norris (I am not a fan as the rest of the world seems to be), nor was there Steven Seagal (I hate him with a burning passion). The faces present were perfect for the roles they were put in, and despite the outstanding egos, it seemed like everything fit pretty perfectly, and didn’t feel like an onscreen Who Has The Bigger Dick contest.

Okay, there were a couple of actors that could have gotten put in with these guys and would have fit. And there was one that I didn’t expect to see, and don’t normally think of in this tone, but worked very well.

I don’t want to give too much away actors wise, because there’s got to be other people out there who haven’t seen it. I can’t be the only person who didn’t go see it in the theaters. Which I now regret. This movie would have been so fucking awesome to see in theaters. Oh man.


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