(Yeah, I’m in it)
(Yeah, I’m in it)
The movie where fucking everybody and their mother dies.
I wonder, really wonder, why there aren’t more movies like this accessible to hands like mine. Really, really wonder. I’m a girl who really enjoys things like horror, murder, serial killers, psychological rapings. Yet, somehow, the films made my Germans which encompass said themes aren’t just… added into my Netflix queue by magic. This is actually the first one that has even been in the “You Might Like This Because…” area.
Holy shit, what an excellent mindfuck. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. They didn’t pull back on anything. Anything. If they did, I’m actually a little stunned. If there are cut scenes more graphic and brutal than the scenes that actually made it into this film? I’m sure they’ve been set on fire. And if they weren’t set on fire, I hope to god they’re on the dvd, because I’m buying it as soon as I can.
Two things I should note:
1. Hearing Mass said in German is pretty fucking hilarious. It sounds so musical in Latin, and yet so harsh and abraiding in German. It was like being scolded the entire time.
2. You cannot say something is starring Norman Reedus if Norman Reedus dies in the first 10 minutes.
I haven’t seen this movie in a really long time, and there’s a reason for it. I wasn’t particularly impressed with it the first go ’round. Maybe it got hyped up to me too much, or maybe I’ve been snobbish about my horror movies since I was little.
Recently, however, I started to remember these times when a cousin of mine used to want to play “People Under The Stairs”. You know, we pretend to be characters in the movie. Reenact it. Whatever. I was remembering that she always played the girl, you know, the one played by A.J. Langer – you might better know her as Rayanne Graff from My So Called Life (don’t even lie, you watched it, too). And she would always make me be Fool. The little black boy who eventually saves the day.
Anyhow. (She said, not wanting to get into the creepy things her cousin made her say and do) I thought that since I was thinking about it lots recently, I might as well watch it again.
Let me just say this = I fell asleep through the middle part and I still feel like I wasted my time. I do not like this movie any more than I did when I was younger. I don’t. And I’m starting to wonder if I have some sort of grudge against Wes Craven or something, because almost every one of his older movies that I’ve encountered or rewatched recently has been an incredible disappointment.
On the other hand, I could have just been recalling awkward memories too much and rested the burden of those on Mr Craven’s shoulders instead of where they belong, which is sitting firmly on my cousin’s.
The best part, I think, was watching Ving Rhames pre-Marsellus Wallace. No less of a badass, mind. Just more of a babyface. Just squish his little cheekses and make kissy face. Or not.
I’m curious to watch The Serpent And The Rainbow now to see if it, at least, stands up to my hopes and memories. Memories of how it was the first time, and hopes that I haven’t become such a prick about my horror that I can’t enjoy it like I used to.