German Serial Killers – Antibodies

I wonder, really wonder, why there aren’t more movies like this accessible to hands like mine. Really, really wonder. I’m a girl who really enjoys things like horror, murder, serial killers, psychological rapings. Yet, somehow, the films made my Germans which encompass said themes aren’t just… added into my Netflix queue by magic. This is actually the first one that has even been in the “You Might Like This Because…” area.

Holy shit, what an excellent mindfuck. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. They didn’t pull back on anything. Anything. If they did, I’m actually a little stunned. If there are cut scenes more graphic and brutal than the scenes that actually made it into this film? I’m sure they’ve been set on fire. And if they weren’t set on fire, I hope to god they’re on the dvd, because I’m buying it as soon as I can.

Two things I should note:

1. Hearing Mass said in German is pretty fucking hilarious. It sounds so musical in Latin, and yet so harsh and abraiding in German. It was like being scolded the entire time.

2. You cannot say something is starring Norman Reedus if Norman Reedus dies in the first 10 minutes.

L.A. Confidential

How in the sake of fuck did this book get translated into a movie? No no, don’t get me wrong. I adored the book. I like all of his writing. But what rocket scientist did they find to make this into a movie script? It’s just so … freaking… I don’t even know. It’s so complicated and involved.

However it happened, I’ve got the movie on my Netflix queue. I think I’ll move it to the top to ease my curiosity. Plus, apparently it’s got Kevin Spacey in it, and I adore him.

The back of the book has the best way to describe the style of this book: Noir written in shorthand.

I’ve been trying to explain to people how it reads by using the words “razor blades” “quick” and “jagged”. Nobody quite gets what I’m saying though, so I think I’ll resort to the reviewer’s explanation.

By the way, no matter how smart you think you are, the ending will fuck you up.

Fear Dot Com

It’s pretty sad when even on muscle relaxers and pain killers a movie isn’t even remotely good. Which was the case for this one.

This really has to be one of the worst movies ever made. Not only that, but it steals a good majority of it’s imagery from The Ring. I don’t know where the rest of it came from, but I find it hard to believe that any of it was an original idea.

The acting in this movie was so bad that even if the script had been good, the whole thing would have still sucked. Lucky for the actors, the scrip was absolute shit. It gives them a small sort of excuse, I suppose, for future projects.

I believe the whole premise of this movie was that this guy is a serial killer and one of his victims wants revenge on him. But I’m not quite sure why she’d be attacking other innocent people. If she’s that upset about her torture and murder, you’d think that she’d feel protective of others, not violent toward them.

This movie was such a colossal failure that I had to watch the ending twice just to try to figure out what it all had to do with anything. I’m betting that Stephen Dorff was really glad his character got killed off, so if anybody gets the ‘brilliant’ idea of making a sequel, he won’t have to have anything to do with it.