Prince of Persia (Movie)

I waited a very, very long time to see this movie. I knew how I would feel about it pretty much right away. I love the Prince of Persia franchise. From the very first one that I used to play in elementary school on the school computers, right up until the Two Thrones. I am wildly, madly in love with these games. I remember being pretty excited when I heard that they were going to make a movie, trepedacious, but excited as well. I hoped beyond a hope that this would be the video game movie to break the bad streak of video game movies.

Then I saw the star.

Now, please, for the love of god, do not get me wrong here. I also very much adore Jake Gyllenhaal. I have seen pretty much everything that he has done in his career, and I have found very little to complain about. I think he’s an amazing actor, and has a great range. So it’s nothing at all personal to Jake.

It’s just that… well.

He’s not the Prince.

My excitement didn’t just waver, it sort of completely and utterly deflated and left me with absolutely no wanting to see this movie. That’s a pretty big drop, really. I see now that I should have expected it, given Jake’s appeal and stardom, who was producing the movie, and the fact that there are only a handful of video game movies out there worth their salt (and no, I cannot name them off the top of my head currently, so don’t ask. [but I can say none of them are by Uwe Boll.])

I waited for it to come up on Netflix Streaming until I would watch it. And I wasn’t even really waiting for it. I was just browsing one day, bored, and realized that it was there. I thought “hey, I have a few hours to kill and no desire to think about anything or put much effort into life, why not”.

While I will say that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, it was bad. It disappointed me that they had to fuck with the story, they had to give everyone names. There wasn’t enough of the Prince jumping around like a supermonkey. It all sort of fell flat. Especially the ending. Flat. Predictable. Boring. About what I had come to anticipate.

I am glad that I watched it. It’s behind me now. I’ve seen it. I have an informed opinion. I wish Netflix had an added star for “meh”. Between “didn’t like it” and “liked it”. I didn’t turn it off. I didn’t loathe it to the core of it’s being. It was disappointing. I won’t ever watch it again, but I sat through it once. There’s no way to reflect that feeling on the Netflix rating system, and there really should be. I have felt that way about more than one movie.

I know it was exciting for Jake to have a role like this, who wouldn’t say yes to being the Prince? But maybe, just maybe, he should have taken a moment and really just thought it out. Asked himself if he was really right for the part, or if he was a fanboy getting his ultimate dream.

My vote? The latter.

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The Tudors (Completed)

Netflix got the rest of the Tudors for streaming, and I decided I wanted to watch it. The sad thing here is that I didn’t remember at all that I’d already seen the first two seasons. I completely blanked all of it.

Then when I started to watch, all the episodes of those seasons were at 99% watched. I was a little confused. Even sadder is the fact that I made a whole post about how much I loved the goddamned show.

I have no idea how I managed to forget it completely. I just don’t. Luckily, all it took was rewatching the final episode of season two and it all came back to me. It was like I was an amnesia victim who had triggered the release of information to bring me up to speed on my own life.

Anyway. I did enjoy the rest of it as much as I loved the first two seasons. I found myself more infatuated with certain characters than I was previously, and still quite envious of the way the women dressed. I don’t care what anybody says, if I can ever afford it, I’m going to have a whole wardrobe made in that style, and then I’m going to wear the dresses all the time. All. The. Time. Even to the grocery.

I was pleased that Jonathan Rhys Meyers held up his end of things perfectly to the end. I was happy to see some characters die. And I was only mildly perturbed at the actress choice for the last wife. I just don’t like her as an actress, though.

There are very few shows that have a definite ending, and it’s kind of nice to have everything all wrapped up neatly. Most shows get cancelled before they have a chance to decide how the story should flow, and have to rush to get it to a point where people won’t have to wonder. Of course, sometimes shows just get cut off and you don’t get anything even close to an ending. Not that I want all my shows to have a pre-imagined end point.

It’s rare for me to find a show that does end and I’ve liked it all the way through. Arrested Development is one, and I hold all shows to that kind of standard. The Tudors Arrested Development standard, I think I’ll call it from now on. The Arrested Tudors Development standard… Arrested Development Tudors standard…

Anyway. Start to end, I adored the Tudors. Very rich in imagery, very factual (though I’m sure some things were fudged, but without Henry the VIII standing there telling you the story, it’s hard to know every single tiny detail).

Weeds

I keep hearing everybody say that they really love this show, Weeds. It’s the best thing ever, it’s so funny, lalala. I’ve heard it from people who have the same tastes as me and people who I usually don’t agree with. So I figured that I had to watch it at some point.

I notice on Netflix that I can stream the first season right to my Xbox, so I figure that now’s as good at time as any to see what all the hype is about.

For those that don’t know, Weeds is about a suburban housewife who decides to sell pot after her husband dies and leaves her without anything but a giant house, two kids, a maid and a fancy SUV.

I’m a little lost on the “Left her nothing” part, because they don’t explain that very well from what I’ve seen, unless I was just spacing out when they said it – which is possible. They were well off enough to have expensive things, so why doesn’t he have some kind of life insurance? Why doesn’t she remain well off when he dies?

In any case, she sells the pot and she’s pretty good at it, but she’s pretty ignorant in the ways of the real world and the world of drug dealing. So the show follows her mishaps and everything that goes on in her life. Her two sons have some issues, her youngest acts out in pretty amusing ways, the oldest is a pretty typical 16 year old in my opinion.

Then her brother moves in, and he’s just another bunch of trouble.

The show has a lot of potential. I can see where the concept was interesting. I can see where they were trying to go with it. I can see the big plans that were brewing in their heads when they came up with everything and started writing out scripts.

But it’s missing something. I don’t know what it is, but it’s certainly not there. It sort of feels like it all falls just short of the potential. It builds up and it almost gets there, but then it gives up trying and settles for what it is.

It’s got some pretty amusing parts. Some really funny lines. It’s not a horrible show, by any means. It’s just, for me, a little bit dull. I don’t mind watching it, and I wouldn’t mind watching it again with somebody else, but I have no need to own it, and I don’t find myself getting excited about the next episode like I do other shows. It’s more like “Oh, there’s another one. Okay.”

I’m going to watch the second season because I just found it on Netflix to stream, I’m going to watch to see if it gets any better, any more interesting. Give it a second chance. But that’s all it’s getting. If the second season hits me like the first season has, then I’m going to be forced to give up trying.

The Tudors – Seasons 1 + 2

There’s one very large issue with watching a historically based show. Even if the story doesn’t follow the texts perfectly, even if some things are added or removed, it’s all pretty much pre-determined. No matter who you might want to see prevail, no matter who you might come to like a whole lot, or hate more than you thought you would, there’s only one end the trail can come to in the end.

Having said that – I very much enjoyed watching King Henry VIII prance around in the body of Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the most dramatic fashion possible.

There are a couple story lines within the main spectacle that I wish they had continued to follow. Such as the choir boy and the ghost girl. That was getting really really interesting when they abandoned it. Actually, that kid sort of vanished completely, come to think of it.

Besides the pretty cast, the main thing that attracted me to this show is the gorgeous costumes. I would more than gladly run around in dresses like they put on the women in the show – all the women, and thinks it’s incredibly unfair that I’d get laughed at and/or placed in a loony bin if I did so now.

The chick that they got to play Anne Boleyn did her job very well, and pulled off the crazy and jealous very well. I definitely believed that she went out of her effing gourd there at the end. Bat shit. That cackle she perfected is something to be reckoned with. And the nutball look she can produce in her eyes, that’s not easy to do.

It’s funny how you start to recall what you learned in history over 10 years ago when you’re watching a television show about it.

I’m also now considering watching The Other Boleyn Girl just to see how it compares. It already has the distinct disadvantage of not being able to run out it’s story through 20 hours. But perhaps that means that it held itself to a higher standard? It’s also difficult to imagine them being able to find actors that can hold a candle to the ones in this show.

I can’t believe that I watched the entire 20 hours in two and a half days. It went by so quickly. And in my watching, I’ve decided that I would like thousands of people ready to shit their pants at my say so.