Viva Pinata: Pocket Paradise OR Holy Hell, Where Did My Life Go?

I am now officially the owner of every version of the Viva Pinata games that exist at this time. I’m actually quite surprised that being in possession of these games, I still find time to breathe and blink.

When I saw the DS version sitting in the bargain bin for 14 dollars, I really couldn’t pass it up. Not since I adore the other games and have actually been wanting this one since it came out.

I did get it thinking that it would be a scaled down version of the 360 games. That it wouldn’t be such a time suck. That I would be able to run through it for a couple minutes and then put it down and read the book I’m currently in the middle of.

WRONG.

It is a miniature version of the game. But not so much. It might be miniature only in the sense that it is physically smaller than the other versions. From all I can tell the tools and menus have been simplified, but it’s just as much an Obsessive-Compulsive’s dream. You micromanage everything, just as you do in the bigger games. You have to do everything just like those other games. EVERYTHING.

I’m so amazed that so much information can go onto such a little tiny thing.

When I opened the manual, which I do more out of looking at pictures than figuring out gameplay (cause it’s just so much easier to do that WHILE playing, in my opinion), I got the impression that there were only a couple of pinata in this game, period. That these were the ones that you were going to work with, these – the most popular for kids.

WRONG.

The ones they talk about in the manual, that I just looked at the pictures of and didn’t read any of the text? Yeah, they’re just the ones that teach you how to do shit. You still have to start from the worms and go up.

It’s absolutely insane. Completely unfathomable.

It’s not right, I tell you.

I have previously stated that I believed the Viva Pinata creators were masking their plot for world domination, and now I have to further emphasize my point. These games are meant to distract us while they just waltz in and sit down in the Seat Of Power and control everything. Cause we’ll just be sitting there, playing our various Pinata games, cursing at the goddamned hippo to just eat the fucking plant and be a resident already to even notice that somebody is hijacking our lives. Not that we’ll care, of course. Because they will continue to supply us with Pinata games to sate our needs.

I for one welcome our new Pinata overlords.

The Tudors – Seasons 1 + 2

There’s one very large issue with watching a historically based show. Even if the story doesn’t follow the texts perfectly, even if some things are added or removed, it’s all pretty much pre-determined. No matter who you might want to see prevail, no matter who you might come to like a whole lot, or hate more than you thought you would, there’s only one end the trail can come to in the end.

Having said that – I very much enjoyed watching King Henry VIII prance around in the body of Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the most dramatic fashion possible.

There are a couple story lines within the main spectacle that I wish they had continued to follow. Such as the choir boy and the ghost girl. That was getting really really interesting when they abandoned it. Actually, that kid sort of vanished completely, come to think of it.

Besides the pretty cast, the main thing that attracted me to this show is the gorgeous costumes. I would more than gladly run around in dresses like they put on the women in the show – all the women, and thinks it’s incredibly unfair that I’d get laughed at and/or placed in a loony bin if I did so now.

The chick that they got to play Anne Boleyn did her job very well, and pulled off the crazy and jealous very well. I definitely believed that she went out of her effing gourd there at the end. Bat shit. That cackle she perfected is something to be reckoned with. And the nutball look she can produce in her eyes, that’s not easy to do.

It’s funny how you start to recall what you learned in history over 10 years ago when you’re watching a television show about it.

I’m also now considering watching The Other Boleyn Girl just to see how it compares. It already has the distinct disadvantage of not being able to run out it’s story through 20 hours. But perhaps that means that it held itself to a higher standard? It’s also difficult to imagine them being able to find actors that can hold a candle to the ones in this show.

I can’t believe that I watched the entire 20 hours in two and a half days. It went by so quickly. And in my watching, I’ve decided that I would like thousands of people ready to shit their pants at my say so.