House (Not the show. DEAR GOD, NOT THE SHOW)

This is not a writeup about the show House, where a snarky doctor pops Vicodin and solves medical mysteries. If that’s what you’re looking for, turn back now. This has nothing to do with that show, and never will. There are no similarities, except for maybe that some of the actors are male.

There are lots of movies out there about haunted houses and people getting trapped in them. Or people spending the night in one and then getting trapped in them. Or people going to a house because they’re lost/car’s broken/think it’s a nice hotel and then get trapped in it. It’s a familiar story, and it can be said that it’s a little played out. But then, you could really say that about every movie out there, couldn’t you? All stories have already been told, it’s the way in which they’re done that we should be looking at.

And by god.

I think I originally began to watch this because I thought it would be crap, and maybe it would help me fall asleep. Michael Madsen was obviously another pull. He’s okay in my book. But it’s very likely that I didn’t really have much hope, though I swear to you now that I recall no such thoughts happening.

Mostly because this movie just blew all such thoughts right out of my pretty little brain. Then said brain was splattered against the wall.

This is, apparently, also a book. Which I’m going to have to seek out. Because wow. If this is what I get from the movie, I can only imagine what I’ll get from the book (*knock wood* please, don’t jinx me, please don’t let me be wrong, please don’t let it be horrible since I opened my damned fool mouth).

This doesn’t just get you through plain old every day fear, either. This really fucks with you all over the place. It’s like it had a party in your brain with Motley Crew and Guns ‘N’ Roses and didn’t tell you. It also didn’t tell you that it invited some heroin junkies and gave you some acid in your sandwich. Every single angle, this thing is coming at you. I loved it.

I think that more horror should be all encompassing, instead of just focusing on the physical horror or the psychological horror. Combining it can make some very beautiful music. Haunting, melodic music carrying a chainsaw. Oh, I know it can go the other way, too. I’ve seen it happen. I’m not an idiot. But more should at least try. If we do not try, we do not learn.

We can take notes from this movie, and spread them all over the place, and hope that little baby movies with this much intensity are born. Or something.

Bioshock (finished)

I am proud to say that shortly before I made my massive cross country move, I managed to finish BioShock. Not that it took a lot of effort. As it goes with games that you’ve fallen in love with, the time slips by unnoticed, you’re startled and confused when you see the sun coming around your curtains or peeking in through the little window in the kitchen door. Really, if I’d only had one day to go through this whole game, I would have done it. Even if it meant driving 26 hours with blurry eyes and the inability to think about anything but Little Sisters and if I should Harvest them.

Overall, a very enjoyable game. Very enjoyable. I will be playing this game again, there is no doubt about that.

Despite my small inability to save the Little Sisters, as I spoke about in a previous post, I did not regret the choices I made or the actions I took. I can play it again and try to save them this time, instead of saving one and then harvesting the next three on reflex. Or… I can try and fail. We’ll see.

I was very happy, very very happy, when I got to put on a Big Daddy costume and lumber about. There are certain sounds that I’m attracted to in games, and I can’t quite explain it or even really know when a particular sound is going to grab a hold of me and make me adore it. The sound of the Big Daddy is one of them. So the fact that I not only got to dress like one, but that I ended up sounding like one, well, it really tickled me. If I could have had more time with that, gone back to some old places and just kind of kicked around for a while, killing those fucking weird ass half dead junkie assholes wantonly, I think I would have been a happy girl for at least a few hours without further need of plot or direction.

I don’t know how I escaped knowing about that particular feature of the game. It’s not like (even though it may at times seem so) I have been living in a cave. People around me have been playing and talking about this game since it came out. SINCE IT CAME OUT. Yet, I had no clue. Somehow the spoilers of this joy flew by me like greased pigeons. I was well and truly surprised at the discovery. And joyful. I cannot go on without saying the word joyful some more. Joyful.

I’m excited to play the next game in the series, whenever I can get my hands on it. Which, given how long it took me for this one, might very well be right around the time they’re making the fourth. I would roll my eyes at myself, but then I’d have to get up and go look in a mirror, and I’m just not that into moving at the moment.

There is nothing more that I can really say. Truly. Love. Deep, penetrating love, filled to the brim love, a little glad I’m behind so I don’t have to wait for more love. Play this game. Play it a lot. Never sell it. Not even if you’re going to starve to death if you don’t.

Brutal Legend

Been a while since I wrote about a game, isn’t it? It’s also been a while since I last had the attention span to do so. I was struggling with the two newest games I have – Overlord 2 and The Godfather 2, and I didn’t know why. Then it dawned on me one day. I needed something that didn’t take a lot of strategy, something I could get lost in for hours without realizing it, and something that would be incredibly fun to play.

Not that either of those games is boring. But there’s a certain amount of thinking that you’ve got to do in both of them in order to advance the game. All I wanted was a game that I could fart around on if I wanted to, and progress the game through when I wanted to, all without having to use too much of my brain.

Somebody suggested to me that I try Brutal Legend, and I have to say that it’s exactly what I was looking for. There are some moments when you have to think about what you’ve got to do, but it’s not the bulk of the game. Plus I can ride around in the car or on animals and just… do that. Or look for the artifacts. All while listening to heavy metal.

Oh, and Jack Black.

The art is beautiful, and the colors are vivid. I love looking at this game. I also love how some people’s hands are way too big for their bodies.

I think I’m about 40% through at this point, so I can’t talk too much about the rest of the game, but so far what I’ve seen, I really like. And on my first night playing, I played for 6 hours. It’s exactly what I needed.

Race To Witch Mountain

Escape To Witch Mountain and Return From Witch Mountain were both movies that I watched when I was a kid. So, naturally, when Race To Witch Mountain came out, I was curious. Things happened, time moved on, it left theaters. I sort of forgot about it entirely until I was searching through the new movies on Netflix and discovered it available for streaming.

I thought “Hey. Why not. I have time, it’s free, I am curious anyway…” and thus in the end, a review.

For a PG movie, this film is EXTREMELY action packed and entertaining. I didn’t know you could have such awesome car chase scenes in a movie like this. It just never even occurred to me.

Dwayne Johnson (also known as The Rock) has really come into his own in this movie making thing. I think I’ve purposefully watched only one other movie that had him in it in a starring role. I can admit to be a little bit biased against the professional wrestler thing. But, in fairness, it seems to really help him in the stunt department. He already knows how to take a hit and a fall, and doesn’t need to be trained to be that huge.

On the acting front, he’s no hack either. While some of his lines were a little bit easy to call, he delivered them well, and I still got a good laugh out of them. Alright, I can admit when I’m wrong about somebody. Okay? Get off my back.

Other nice surprises of the film – Cheech Marin randomly popping up as a mechanic, and Chris Marquette as an agent desperately in need of a gun. My radar is up for his face because of Fanboys.

The film itself, aside from being very exciting, was well written. Well acted, well filmed. All around very enjoyable.

I did, admittedly, have to look it up to see if it was supposed to be a continuation of the series, or a remake. They like to call it a re-imagining. I can see it. All of it updated for modern times. Better gadgets, modern lingo. And come on, you know I was a freak over the Stormtroopers popping up all over the place.

Though, I suppose I will keep it in my secret wishes that Seth and Sara are the children of Tia or Tony. It kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? The previous aliens have done the biological studies – which may have taken a while. They have their secret hideout. The government overruns Witch Mountain and turns it into a secret facility. It’s been 30 years, I don’t see why not.

I have to say, in the end, I would definitely watch this again. Actually, I wouldn’t mind owning this one at all. I think it could be a good addition to the collection, in all honesty.

The only thing that could have possibly made this any better is if David Duchovny made a cameo at the UFO Convention.